Thursday, 20 July 2017

From THERE to ASHES- Chapter 3

The room cleaned of the ice and her beloved’s last traces was so full of crowd but still felt so empty to her. Patience could here the joy from her adolescence, the biting, the cravings, the negotiations, the barter, peck on her cheek, scratch by his  beard across her face and it burned…always whenever he did it, smile from behind the door, that timely roar and she hides behind the door again…UNKNOWINGLY. Soon did she realize that all these are the memories, her very fond memories which she can’t let go. Days passed and so did the nights, many sleepless nights under that roof where he was lastly seen under that white sheath he laid in serenity above all the turmoil which turned cold (very cold) that time.
She took the corner near the window from where the flashes of lights on roads and clouds were to be seen. She placed her head on lintel closing her eyes. All she had that pleasant smile, her memories, the melancholy and soon  she felt the touch, touch which seamed so pure, so cold yet gave the warmth, touch which was known but still felt so far…among all this she opened her eyes to see that from the dark there he comes. Oh! She wanted to run, run as fast as she can to match the heart beat…she leaned to see and make sure that what she is seeing is hers and has come to life just for her( and her vision blurs). Least did she expect of it to happen at this moment, she tried and tried to see properly but it was hard only till the time she came to know that they were tears.
” Why? “, she asks.
(long pause but no reply… clutching his hand she brings him closer)
“Why?” she asks again.
“I was left with nothing else…Was I”, says the beloved. (Without the need of answer)
“Me”, she says.
He placed his hand on her forehead and kissed her eyes but she didn’t want to close it as she was too afraid that even if she will blink, it will vanish. She didn’t want to let go of him just now, there are many questions un-answered but she was too fragile to ask any as she might as well cry.
Oh! No…No this is not the moment to cry (she says to herself and embraces his touch)
“What gave you the courage?”, she asks.
“Your face”, he replies.
“My face? …and I always thought that my face never came in-front of you while doing it”, she contemplates.
He responds, “I knew, you will take care of it all behind me…and I am proud.”
But that wasn’t what I asked (she thought), she couldn’t speak but stood there listening to him and wishing that she gets the reply to all the questions without asking them out loud as she feared that this will all end and that’s what she never wanted. Soon he speaks again: “I lamented the same tale through out my life but today is the confession…”, he admits. (Deep down she knew this confession but still she let him go on with it.)
And he carries on: “Beneath this skin, I had a heart of …child who failed as a son, husband who came up as a dictator, your beloved but only I could turn it all away (taking her hand in his…he continues). To my mother I wanted to be a child who took away all her sorrows, wished to mend all the holes by the finest stitch possible in the melodious tunes of her sewing machine…(Khich pitch…machine khich pictch…). The stitches which mended my childhood with affection, which never made me feel left on THE LOVE and that I am abandoned. There was so much of it which I overlooked till the time her body turned into ashes and I never could see the last of her. I wanted to go with her so here I am now, till the time I find her and find my that one last dream in her lap.”
(Hearing this, she clutches his hand tightly…In that darkness also she could see the blink in his eyes while he speaks though hardly anything apart from it she could see…)
” To my better half, the dictator I have been only till the time I saw her crying after I was gone. To her I only want to be sorry, sorry for I never deserved her (Patience wanted to shut his mouth as in her mind except few hurdles they were best together with all the ons and offs, instead she kept him going). The way she stood by me through all times, never I could return to her even if I barter my soul for her happiness but by the time I realized it, things could not be undone. So I left the gift, best ever gift she gave to me…with her. I couldn’t go on like this knowing that I am being selfish and she has a life too. That morning also, she gave me juice along with medicines…only till the time of supper I realized, Let her be free of me. That was the last I saw of her till the time she went for bath and I saw the last of me in the mirror”, he continued.(she sits there quietly…)
“Crippled with my thoughts as I was, couldn’t even care for the gifts I got. Unable to look past of my selfish motives of being stubborn , I tried molding the flowers that my gifts were into the creatures of minds than hearts. I am aware that I have taken away the purity out of one and the one is only left with brains like mine (least Patience was aware of what he is talking but she indulged deeper only to hear him more). Only if I could turn back and undo it all….”, he says.
She opens her eyes only to realize that it was a DREAM she just lost and whispered to herself, “But I don’t want it all to be undone.”
Tears role down her eyes after long as she looks outside the window in the darkness of night and the clock ticked 3.

And finally the story comes to an end.

Click for Chapter 1 and Chapter 2

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