BLACK-HOLE

An individual so dark from within…Yes we all have our secrets buried inside, at times we are dark, cruel, vengeful, negative, self-centered, superficial and much more. This is our that secret which we even fear to admit it to ourselves. Everyone has a mechanics build  within that I am just acting as per situation, I am only being this negative or vengeful because the situations are making me so. We have a fear that what if we acknowledge that we are this shallow at times, we will begin to hate ourselves but with every day passing by I have come to an understanding that no matter how hard I try to avoid it, this reality keeps making its mark within me.

Be it rape, riots, attacks, thefts, family differences, murders…for everything there is one and only one thing responsible, the MONSTER within us. Yesterday there was news of rape of a woman in an auto where three men raped her and threw her 8 months old daughter outside resulting in her death via head injury. There is always a debate that no law is being formed which helps curbing this kind of heinous crime but what we always fails to believe that no law, no government, no state, no man/women can ever be so perfect in being present everywhere. Everyday thousands of women travel from one place to another, how can each be protected by forming a law. I am not opposing the punishment but only questioning will any punishment be harsh or sufficient enough to save every woman/man on street be it in India or anywhere else. It will only stop when the monster inside us will be curbed.

When I was little, belonging to a middle class family and father so strict...I was deprived of basic childhood pleasures like a fancy looking different colour pens, sweet and being a child I wanted it all, so did my brother as he was elder to me. So he stole once or twice from dad’s pocket and so did I from the money Mom gave me to get vegetables for home. It was never more than a rupee from my side and 50 from bhai’s  but it wasn’t too late that I realised that what I am doing is not right, so I sorta stopped on my own but my brother was caught and punished harshly. I did face some criticism in school for the deed I didn’t do but that’s a story for another time. Here what point I wish to make is we both stopped eventually with or without punishment only because we faced our monsters and confronted it.

I am of no cast but still I feel proud when I take my full name as there is sense of pride in my caste which is inculcated from childhood as its in family environment. With every Veda, I have learnt to respect my religion but its my own understanding that the religion of others is equally important as mine. We see news every day of politicians thriving on religion politics or riots happening in the name of religion but what we fail to realise in that heat is nobody from beyond gave it to us, its only what we found and learnt after we were born. What was given to us from beyond is life and how can we take it from someone who claims to be other religion or state than ours. It’s the monster within us, the rage which makes us kill one another in the name of God. I am sure that no one involved in these riots has ever seen God commanding them to hit a person who doesn’t follow a religion as his. That’s the monster acting and instead of hitting that monster, we act otherwise.

Every small greed becomes theft. With time theft becomes huge, in a moment we become murderer from thieves and from murderers to the ones who don’t shy away to kill their own blood. This cycle has been on an on for eternity now and will never end till we find a way to tame our monsters. Like in small family issues why do the matters go out of hand where the son goes against his parents, why so happens that two individuals start hating each other so much that they are ready for a kill? Where goes the mutual respect or respect of the elderly? Why does rage become so prestigious and ego so high. A sorry even for no reason has never hurt anybody. An small self-assessment has never taken a toll on anybody, it may always make you a better person. Why not with every petty fight we picked of one being wrong to us all the time, we hug the other person as its just family.

If I analyse myself, I have a temper and a tendency not to ignore. If I see something in which I have put my effort not going my way, I get agitated but that has become my monster as it did stir chaos in our lives at times. I am working on taming my monster. HOPE the WORLD does the same.