Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Melancholy: Tears were - Chapter 2

Patience, the child of 2…blossomed into a lily of thoughts by the loss of her beloved and no more the child but mature to take care of the lands of nowhere. The happy den of hers, where she thought nothing can come without her will but only could she think of her beloved to be gone. The least she expected for her beloved to go, the efforts were never felt so useless but she had the land and others to look for. The people, the other favorites of her…who needed each other for support and the acknowledgement that this is just not the ending, its the only beginning of a new decade…which they longed for so long. Everyone in this decade was free but till now no-one knew. Hers beloveds were so much in love with each other that the loss of one, felt like the loss of whole era. Oh! Did she hear the cries of others, the story said and all she wanted to comfort other two, only the other two and not herself and here she was just not the kid, she grew into a LILY of thoughts. Seeing her beloved, lying there on ice…very cold indeed.
The louder she wanted to cry to make her beloved move from there, she wanted to sit near by and wished to touch that cold skin and so she did. The transcendence of hers to the other world like she herself as going with that soul but only to return. All she wanted to know were the answers that what went missing with her efforts, why not her beloved only looked into her eyes and tell her that morning that this is the she would see of him and among all this she was taking care of the ones who weren’t gone and were already with her. The screamer she was from inside, her lungs were full…ready to explode with sorrow, she wanted to hold of to her beloved, take them to the corner and sit in silence…only to cry. Cry as mush as they all wanted to but only could she do was holding on to her beloved’s ice cold hand, see the beam passing through that room, filling every corner with memories of her favorite past, nowhere near was the time where she felt chocked and suffocated..this is more or less the same but cause is different. Now she doesn’t hate the look of her beloved, now she just remorse of her fond memories and those of others. Loud she wanted to cry, holding on to those memoirs but only the tears were lost. Lost as she the child, grown into a lily knew its only the ice which freezes her eyes and all the stills of her past life flashing, each taking away a tear which were settled at the corner like the dew drop on a petal from a silent winter morning . With every fond memory, she lost a tear…smothering her every thought, she kept quite and carried on holding on to herself.

Link to Chapter 1 and Chapter 3

Friday, 16 June 2017

Anonymous Writer

There is no writer in me, just a person who sometimes feels a need to voice his/her feelings out. When something really makes me feel angry, sad, amazed, excited… I should give everything a name or else that moment will be lost like many other times so far but now I have found a pen and place. Nothing will be lost anymore and there will be no regrets either.

Everytime I cried for being a girl, won’t be just a feeling anymore…I will have a place to analyse and relate to it. Everytime I felt miserable, it won’t be for some stupid reason which I can’t remember later. Everytime I am angry on certain situation, it won’t be for just any situation, I will have a name to it. I guess every thought, every feeling, every amazing/bad day in life is necessary as that’s what makes you-YOU today. If I wouldn’t have cried those nights, I never would have understood the importance of this morning. I cried for being a girl and that only made me much stronger. Everything was analysed in my head time and time again but still I felt angry as there was no outcome, now there is.

There are many situations in life which keeps bothering us throughout but at the end of the day problems seems to be too big for us to resolve. We think to ourselves what will I be able to do in this situation,’ I am a mere person…who will listen to me?’ but today I end it even if no one listens, I will speak as only if we will let our words out then only we can imagine it to reach someone’s ears.

In hopes to make CHANGES through words, POWERFUL words.

Something went MISSING -Chapter 1

Patience, a child of age 2 and residing in the lands of nowhere… it was only since her childhood, she ever wanted was to break free. Break free from traditions, free from the surroundings, free from her identity all-together as while she was in that room…she chocked, suffocated and might as well felt like dying several times without an actual death but least she could do to run away from there with all the boundaries and the people continuously glaring at her except thinking and counting her days from the day her existence came in being. It was her soul which look past all those boundaries, those gazing eyes and those hands ready to kill at whatever moment they got an opportunity. Her soul was pure like any other child, her guts strong to built a nation, her thoughts powerful to pass the message that she won’t give up that easy. She made that room, her beloved place…made those people, her favourites…made that childhood…the best memory. Soon she grew playing and juggling with those traditions once chocking her mind and heart of thoughts but as she grew, only did she realized that one of those favourites is the creature of fate, maligned by his own deeds, lamenting the miseries (he went through), coping up with the sorrows of past and all he did to her is the process which he had been made to follow. It occurred to her that favourite is more a child than actually she is and all a sudden, she grew a bit more. Only to take care of her loved ones, to put this creature of fate out of his misery and unknowingly she uttered the words,’ May! God help you rest in peace and I don’t reprimand you of your doings…I forgive you’ and meant every word she said. Yes till this time she believed in God, till this time she gave HIM the name…actually various names. Now is the time when she stand between her favourite and his deeds but least did she know that her favourite had other plans, not only he overlooked the effort she made to bring him out of his misery…he over looked her all-together. They were only few hours, since she went away from him…oh! only few hours and Patience has whole life to think that what in her EFFORTS did she LOOSE to loose her beloved.

Way to Chapter 2 & Chapter 3
Letter to the fiction Writers: Till today, I never had so much of respect in my heart for all of you there and I am so sorry for being the culprit of making this effort of vague fiction but this takes skill and time…HAND DOWN AND BOWING already in your honor.

Thursday, 8 June 2017


An individual so dark from within…Yes we all have our secrets buried inside, at times we are dark, cruel, vengeful, negative, self-centered, superficial and much more. This is our that secret which we even fear to admit it to ourselves. Everyone has a mechanics build  within that I am just acting as per situation, I am only being this negative or vengeful because the situations are making me so. We have a fear that what if we acknowledge that we are this shallow at times, we will begin to hate ourselves but with every day passing by I have come to an understanding that no matter how hard I try to avoid it, this reality keeps making its mark within me.

Be it rape, riots, attacks, thefts, family differences, murders…for everything there is one and only one thing responsible, the MONSTER within us. Yesterday there was news of rape of a woman in an auto where three men raped her and threw her 8 months old daughter outside resulting in her death via head injury. There is always a debate that no law is being formed which helps curbing this kind of heinous crime but what we always fails to believe that no law, no government, no state, no man/women can ever be so perfect in being present everywhere. Everyday thousands of women travel from one place to another, how can each be protected by forming a law. I am not opposing the punishment but only questioning will any punishment be harsh or sufficient enough to save every woman/man on street be it in India or anywhere else. It will only stop when the monster inside us will be curbed.

When I was little, belonging to a middle class family and father so strict...I was deprived of basic childhood pleasures like a fancy looking different colour pens, sweet and being a child I wanted it all, so did my brother as he was elder to me. So he stole once or twice from dad’s pocket and so did I from the money Mom gave me to get vegetables for home. It was never more than a rupee from my side and 50 from bhai’s  but it wasn’t too late that I realised that what I am doing is not right, so I sorta stopped on my own but my brother was caught and punished harshly. I did face some criticism in school for the deed I didn’t do but that’s a story for another time. Here what point I wish to make is we both stopped eventually with or without punishment only because we faced our monsters and confronted it.

I am of no cast but still I feel proud when I take my full name as there is sense of pride in my caste which is inculcated from childhood as its in family environment. With every Veda, I have learnt to respect my religion but its my own understanding that the religion of others is equally important as mine. We see news every day of politicians thriving on religion politics or riots happening in the name of religion but what we fail to realise in that heat is nobody from beyond gave it to us, its only what we found and learnt after we were born. What was given to us from beyond is life and how can we take it from someone who claims to be other religion or state than ours. It’s the monster within us, the rage which makes us kill one another in the name of God. I am sure that no one involved in these riots has ever seen God commanding them to hit a person who doesn’t follow a religion as his. That’s the monster acting and instead of hitting that monster, we act otherwise.
Every small greed becomes theft. With time theft becomes huge, in a moment we become murderer from thieves and from murderers to the ones who don’t shy away to kill their own blood. This cycle has been on an on for eternity now and will never end till we find a way to tame our monsters. Like in small family issues why do the matters go out of hand where the son goes against his parents, why so happens that two individuals start hating each other so much that they are ready for a kill? Where goes the mutual respect or respect of the elderly? Why does rage become so prestigious and ego so high. A sorry even for no reason has never hurt anybody. An small self-assessment has never taken a toll on anybody, it may always make you a better person. Why not with every petty fight we picked of one being wrong to us all the time, we hug the other person as its just family.

If I analyse myself, I have a temper and a tendency not to ignore. If I see something in which I have put my effort not going my way, I get agitated but that has become my monster as it did stir chaos in our lives at times. I am working on taming my monster. HOPE the WORLD does the same.

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